How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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