he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
