k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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