The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize