I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
