.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
