The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
