Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
