Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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