I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
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I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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