Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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