singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
