Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
