It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
