Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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