i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
