I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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