You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
