i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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