I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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