I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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