She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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