dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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