I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
