He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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