yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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