The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
