I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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