So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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