but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
