yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
