i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
