I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
