i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize