she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
