I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
