i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
