So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
