whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
