so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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