you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
