Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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