Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
