I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize