i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize