did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
