I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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