this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like death gave me a hand job
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
