It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Randomize
