Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
