I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
