It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize