She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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