Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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