yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
vagina is talking i cant
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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