Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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