Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
