I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
