I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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