good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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