No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
