I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
