He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
