the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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