I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize