Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.

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(585): View more from New York

i'm signing you up for texting rehab

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(516): View more from New York

Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.

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(435): View more from Utah

she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.

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(813): View more from Florida

Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.

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