I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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