so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
