Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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